Desire

I write this with one of my vices in my one hand. I have thought all day long what today's blog would be about. I have cleaned the house, worked out and thought long and hard how to being. I thought about that phone call that came in at 12:45 this afternoon. It stopped me dead in my tracks while I was working out. It was that phone call that I was waiting for. For those that may not know, I have been unemployed since June of 2011. It was downsizing that caused my forced vacation. I have applied to hundreds if not thousands of different positions that have been put online, or that people have told me to apply. So, I am sitting here drinking a vodka, (those that know me know how much!)thinking about what to say. I have to say that yes I am disappointed that I did not get the job. I went through three interviews and I was told that they went with an internal candidate. Okay, I got that. I was also told that I interviewed very strong. Now, me being the positive kind of guy thought, wow that is awesome. A employer telling a candidate how they did. They offered me a "task force" position. What is that, someone that goes out to help out hotels that need to have a fill in. With that being said, where do I go from here?

So, after that phone call, I sat on the bench in the gym and there was a "fork in my road, in my mind!" I asked myself, self which way are you going to go, negative and then wallow in poop or positive and change my view...I finished the workout and then went to eat. I sat there and let the thoughts in my head fly by, negative or positive. The key was to let my thoughts flow. I did not want to stick to either or. I wanted to see where this would end up. I went with applying for a job. Thinking all along about what to write today. I put up my status, that told my friends what happen. Pretty much all the responses were, they were not ready for your talents, or that was not your right job. So, I was getting ready this morning, eating my breakfast, I put the telli on. Evan almighty, was on here is the part that I watched, Evan is with g-d (Morgan Freeman) and Evan is telling g-d that he is not ready to do the ark, because he has to get settled into his new house. G-d's response...LAUGHTER!!! Lots and lots of it. When the call came in and I hung up, I thought about that. We all make plans and g-d laughs.

During my interviewing process I was asked several different questions, like "where do you see yourself in a year or five years?" or "what kind of cook are you?" I have had some time to think those answers over and I know what I want, and what kind of cook I am! I was also asked why I wanted to apply for the chef de cuisine? I was after all an Executive Chef. My response was simple, "I love to cook, I do not need a title." And that is where I am kids. I feel like I have no purpose now, no job to me equals no purpose. So, what do I want from a year or five years, a kitchen where I can invent, where I can create dishes that people are blow away...My desire is to have a purpose in life. Of course I want money to live on, but to do the thing I love is what I want more than cooking itself!

So, where to go from here? Where ever the wind takes me! I have to take some time to get over what happen today. It was shocking to say the least. I thought I had it! I thought the job was mine, never thought for a moment that I was not going to get the chance to cook for the corporate chef. But that is what happened, I didn't get my chance. That stings no matter how you look at the glass. Tomorrow is a new day and that is how I am going to get through this.

I thought about writing a book for people, no check that, chefs in training. Like a book that someone who is going through culinary school or starting out in this field, to give some reason behind why they chose this path. As I said in the beginning, I have my vice, vodka, maybe they had to much before they made the choice to do this line of work. I have never doubted why I do this! NEVER! I love food, I live to eat and not eat to live. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing your food go out and then come back gone, nothing. I mean, there is some chefs that have written books that glorify what it is about being a chef! I have seen chefs called pirates and rock stars. I have to say we are all insane in some way another. I have never done any drug that is stronger than weed! Nothing more than that. I have seen guys and gals that have done coke (not the drink), meth, X, among other drugs. I guess we, people in this field think we are rock stars in a way. I am divorced, because my ex could not take my work hours, so she said. But that is a whole other story. I have always searched for a balance in working in the industry and my personnel life. Sorry, kids no answer kids, still searching for it. Well, maybe I will write a "Pep" book for those crazy people that want to join the ranks of all these different chefs. Remember not all chefs are famous chefs. If I had a book that would describe the "Shit" we have to go through to become a great chef, that might help me out at least. There was a book when I went through the hazing that I went through, so maybe that is where I should go next. Whatever it is to help someone else out, is what I desire now. Look for that in the future kids, I will start soon, just got to finish this drink...Happy cooking

Cheffrey